Oh, believe me...I do know what you mean. I've lived it LOL.
You could do something as simple as walk up behind her and kiss her on the neck and turn her around continuing the kiss...there you go, you've just initiated. It's desire for her.
I cannot tell you how many times I've said to my own H, "it would thrill me to death to have you take me by the hand and lead me to the bedroom." However my H, at least the past would turn it into needing to be some big production in his mind...like I wanted to be ravaged like some heroine in a romance novel.
Has she flat out said to you in the past....I want to be ravaged? If so, well then...I can see why that might have been difficult for you. If not, then what gave you that impression?
I can say (at least speaking for myself) that I never once told my H I wanted to be ravaged. I told him I wanted him to show me he desired me or found me sexy....and HE interpereted it to mean that I wanted to be ravaged like in a romance novel, which kept him paralyzed because that was way beyond him at the time.
