I'm so glad to see you here and say this...."When you said "initiation", it was like hearing my wife. Part of it is a messed-up feeling in the back of my mind that I shouldn't be treating my wife like a "whore" even though she's telling me that's what she wants!"
Having a healthy/loving sexual relationship IS NOT treating your wife like a "whore", it's fostering a bond between the two of you. There literally are chemicals released inside people when we make love to our partners, endorphins and oxytocin to name two of them...that help create that intimate loving feeling between a man and a woman. It's really not just about the physical act of sex itself...which many people have a tough time getting past.
My own H for the longest time didn't get it, and he still struggles with it.
