I just talked with my wife. The conversation was pleasant and we talked about her evening out with one of her friends. I also asked her to bring some clothes from the house when she comes to work tomorrow.
Then I asked her, when we talked earlier today you said that 3 weeks wasn't enough time to know the changes were going to stay. Are you seeing changes. She said yes, she guessed. We talked some more and I told her that I was going to keep fighting for her and the marriage. That I was giving her space, and that I was only doing that so she could think that I really wanted to show her more, that I was fighting for her.
She said, between tears, that this hadn't been an easy decision and it wasn't something that she just came up with yesterday. That her life has been in limbo for so long. That she thought that she had already made her decision. That she was moving out and it was final. I said that it was still her decision weither she wanted to end it or to continue. That I had had a wake up call and was working on things and knew it would be different. She cried more and became more angry. Saying that her life is still in limbo and that if she had her way she would get a lawyer tomorrow and file.
My immediate thought was, what's holding you back? But, I knew better than to ask.
She said that she was really tired and she's been working long hours and all weekends. And that she wasn't mad at me, but that she needed more space and time to think. That we had talked every week since she left and people who are getting a divorce don't do that. --- Well, I don't want a divorce.
I may have pushed her too far. She's very tired and hurt. I wish I could help her.
What should I do now?
She's going to be out of the house by Monday. I'm guessing if I need to communicate with her about something non-R related I should only do it thru emails. Wait for her to call me. She knows that if we get divorced, we'll probably have to sell the house. She also knows that we'll have to get the house ready for the market and has agreed to help in that process. I think I should wait until she makes arrangements to help with the house and not bring it up again.
