Have you asked God to rely your messages to H for you?
He will you know.
That is a wonderful idea, and no, no one has ever suggested that particular way to turn over. Thanks Lissie, that feels good as a way to keep moving on.
"Father I can't reach (name.) I am going to let you speak to them. Their mind is closed to me; but you can reach their heart. Your Spirit leaps over mountains and bounds over hills, The Song of Solomon 2:8. No barrier is too big for you. So, please send Your Holy Spirit to (name) and you tell them what they need to know.
“Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.”
thanks for posting. just knowing I'm heard is helpful.
Brue,
I appreciate always your genuine posts. I am distraught today, just totally beside myself, it is just me. I managed to keep it together long enough to pack up the car, drive over here and have a counseling meeting at S14's new school.
I'm sorry to be dense, but is it everything just being overwhelming, or is there something else?
Who knows? My guess: extreme crisis of acceptance, coupled with a good bit of fear and a whole lot of sadness. It looks a lot like a 2 year old tantrum.
Well, you know why 2 year olds have tantrums, don't you? They feel out of control in their own world; someone else is always telling them what they can and cannot do, and they feel frustrated. Sound familiar?
For many, if not all, of us here, our S's have been calling the tune throughout this process. Yes, you can take control to an extent, but only w/in certain parameters. You can control your part of the D negotiations, but you can't make the D not happen.
Is there a way for you to feel like you're taking back control? Maybe by somehow making this move something you want, for example?
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Well, you know why 2 year olds have tantrums, don't you? They feel out of control in their own world; someone else is always telling them what they can and cannot do, and they feel frustrated. Sound familiar?
That might be the single most helpful thing anyone has said to me...seriously! It makes me feel less crazy.
Yes...I can definitely work with making the move something I want. That's easy, it is something I have always wanted, the timing is just earlier and the partner absent!
I am so glad I found your thread it has made things in my sitch so much clearer. I may have a D looming in the near future for H is very detached from me at times and has said to d that he just can't live with me.This is a man who 3 months ago wanted to come home again.
Well after a yr and for the last 6 months he has made contact on a regular basis I find this hard to deal with. So maybe I need to listen to PL and let go. Maybe I do need to see this as a door opening to a future of someone who will love me for who I am not who I can't be.
I have not posted here much for I got no response on my thread but I was in a major whining mode at the time. Need to focus and on me and not him, thank you for waking me up all of you.
I am confused on how much contact to have with him if he is having contact with me. He emailed me this week. He called 2 weekends in a row. He did this back in Jan when he got close and then ran. But today d told me that he cries when she sees him and she says he sits at home crying, what would be the appropriate thing to say to him to ease him into talking?
A yr ago he wanted a D had a L and everything before he left. He has not filed but I feel it in my gut that he will very soon.
read my thread if you can, tell me I am losing it totally this time around. thanks and AH you are inspiring me to stay strong and look ahead. I too think my H is paralyzed with fear. Fear of making the wrong choice and having to live with it. hb2
m24 yrs h 50 me 47 s 21 s 17 left 5-30-06, and 12-4-06 still gone.............
HB2, Thanks for posting. I'm sorry you have been through such a dizzying turn of events. I'll check out your thread, hopefully by now you've had helpful posts.
Journaling;
I've been packing and moving, mostly, along with a little "paid" work.
This morning when I picked S up from H's house to take S to school, H had left a CD for me to listen to. WTF! I know, the poor guy is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, but why is he doing friendly things like that. Just two days ago he sends me an email coming really close to finalizing the D negotiations. Why is he being nice?
I am finding myself very, very tired, which I assume is normal. I keep plugging away, and every so often I cry a little.
I went to the ballet tonight with nice guy. He is having his own struggles, sigh, I feel sad for him because I know this D stuff really hurts, even when it happens in record time like his did.
I have to admit, right now I'd like to sit down in the middle of the floor, and just cry, and have someone else take over my life and decision-making, and reponsibilities. But, I'm not going to do that. I have a great deal to be grateful for in my life, and I know that, even during my down spells.
