Honestly it's going to take consistent action/words on your part for her to believe your changes are for real. If she were here I would tell her that if you kept up your behavior for months (not weeks) that then...I would think she could believe you have made some REAL changes. I don't say that to discourage you either, but to be honest with you.
It's just a sad reality that many people who attempt to make changes do so for only a short period of time....a few days, or a few weeks, then they revert back to their old behaviors. IMPO...if someone can sustain their changes for a few months then they are likely to become habit and become permanent.
In your W's situation it's going to take consistency and persistence from you before she will be likely to let that guard down. Consistency in your words of desire for her, consistency in fighting for the marriage you want, and the persistence to keep the behavior up and be a man of steel even when you don't want to be....in order to fight for her.
Did you look up CSW's threads? If not, or if you cannot find them...I'll look for them for you. His story will give you hope. His wife DID leave, she had an affair too....and he began doing what's been advised to you. They are happily reconciled now.
