GEL,

The pastor's don't have the skills to deal with this. Not a slam against them or the Bible--I love both dearly. The first pastor had us read "His needs/Her needs" and keep a journal, our current pastor's advice is for me to do the initiating. If his advice was to be submissive, then yes, I'd wait till hell itself froze over because he doesn't "seem" to have a need. The first counselor simply told him "she wants you, go have sex." No lie. This last couselor has been having him step up the romance, but other than that I do not know what they talk about.

As for porn, This may sound SO niave (sp?), but I've asked him outright (heck, I've even ask him is he was gay) and he says that he doesn't look at anything like that. And I do believe him. As for the computer thing, we have cleaninter.net and nothing gets by that baby. I can't even buy langerie or romance novels online \:\) However, he is away at the firehouse 24hrs a day and they have "websense" now that I think about it, so no go there either. Never found anything as much as "naughty" hidden away anywhere. I can also rule out other women. He has a cell and is either at work or here with me and the kids.

I do know one thing, he orgasms quick and it bothers him. But I've never made it an issue because he always cares for my needs first. Lately, he has taken viagra.

All that aside, I think his mind just doesn't think of sex as fun and great and okay to need. But what on earth do I do about that? I'm thinking of hypnosis...anyone have thougts on this?

Thanks for writing. It makes me feel less alone--although I am sorry for anyone else to have these type of problems...