25...not sure if your questions were directed to me...but I'll bite, lol
How is it going?....well all things considered I think it is going pretty good...he is taking responsibility for his health again, emotional and physical...he isn't drinking....he is going to religious services with us...appears to be trying to get a job (right now this is the biggy with me)
Yes, I do think kids benefit from "knowing" both parents...it's just not always easy on the parents....
Are you okay?...I think so, I have started going to Jazzercise which really helps me not only physically but emotionally...it is my time with my girls or myself...I am looking into some fun summer jobs instead of driving summer school buses this summer...so we will see where life takes me this summer...
What would you do differently, if you had it to do over?...I would DB better in the beginning then I did...I would not have filed for divorce twice...I would have gone dark before he did...and in reconciling....I think I would have required a bit more time with him out of the house and roughing it while I and the kids kept our comfort...I would have liked to have had him hit total bottom before moving home so that the kids wouldn't have had to witness that ugly scenerio take place...but, in the end I would still take him back...
"But only now I am wondering whether I want this much at all..."
Well, all I can say is I think this must be normal because I went through this a few times after H came home...I would question whether I was doing the right thing...and for whom???...I think it is just because we put so much into saving our marriage but we really have no focus on WHAT it is that will get saved!....Hang in there...eventually things start getting clearer and clearer...
Like you there is nothing on this earth that could have made me leave my kids...not that I didn't just want to run away at times...but my children needed me and I loved them...you just don't leave...that is not a parent...that is not love...
