Think first..give your S the benefit of doubt

[RedHeadWife]

Thanks, Cat! That's exactly what I've been trying to do. H is now gone for a year deployment, left 2 days ago, but thankfully all is well in our M. The night before he left I truly saw the love shining in his eyes for ME.

I'm not so worried about him having an A while he's over there, as deployments is where he has done it before, but I sometimes worry that he will still be "talking" either on the phone or email w/ OW/EA from over here.

But, that being said, I am giving him the benefit of the doubt and our M as well. I set the stage since he dropped the D bomb and then began piecing that, when he left for this deployment, he would know how good he truly has it. Therefore, hopefully I have also set the stage for him to make good "choices" while he's there.

That's all I can do and, in order to keep myself sane, giving him the benefit of the doubt and learning to completely trust him again, is all I can do now.

I am also handling things differently this deployment as well. I have learned a lot through this whole D process. I have already sent cards that should have arrived before he even got there. I will do nothing but be supportive b/c I now understand how hard it is for HIM to be away from home. I can't burden him w/ how hard it is for ME to be here at home and taking care of 3 small boys, etc.