2940, just be careful re the kisses etc. It may be a way of trying to rope you back into the same old same old. People resist change, when someone changes the dynamic (as you are) they will respond. It also could be a baby step on his part but stick to your guns right now! Enjoy the intimacy but keep yourself on the path you are presently on. Take care. P.S. if it is a baby step it is because YOU changed the dynamic!
just be careful re the kisses etc. It may be a way of trying to rope you back into the same old same old.
What do you mean by this? Just stringing me a long and not really intending on ever resolving this with OW?
Are you thinking that it is bad for me to allow him to kiss me?
Still planning on keeping up keeping my distance. I did not contact him at all after our dinner last night (no e-mails, phone calls, voicemails, nothing - just had to forward one voicemail message that was for him but did not introduce it or anything). He did not come home last night, which was okay. I was a little bummed if I'm totally honest with you, but only s little. No expectations. It's getting easier and I'm getting stronger.
So I don't have any meetings or reason to see him today. Tomorrow he is supposed to be going out of town for the weekend and will be back on Sunday for racing. So I'm going to keep my distance. We'll see how it goes...
Am looking forward to getting together with my friend tomorrow.
2940, I just meant not to let the wonderful feelings that come with baby steps, like passionate kisses, sway you from your plan. Is he stringing you along? Who knows. I wouldn't even go there. Just stick to your "no expectations" and keep doing what your doing!
I don't get it. Why are you acting like all is well with you and H? To save him the hassle of explaining....???? How will they feel about it when they find out that all was/is not well? Are you hoping by hiding it, that it will go away? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25, I am purposely not telling any friends/family about this for two reasons:
1.) to shelter them from the hurt 2.) when/if things work out for us, I would prefer if they never knew this happened - I don't want them to have to work through their own forgiveness process
I have spoken with DB coach about this in the past, and she said that while it is very hard to hold this inside, it IS for the best if we do work things out. Then we're not dragging others into this mess...
So far I have been able to do this and feel okay that I can continue to do it. As far as I know, H has also not said anything to anyone.
Why stir things up with those around us if we don't need to? Just making H be accountable for his actions is not anywhere near a good enough reason to hurt other people or put them through this hell and then potentially put them through working to forgive us as well...
When this works out, I don't plan on ever telling anyone about it. Why would I if I don't need to?
If it doesn't work out and we are forced to explain it to others, I just have to pray that they will understand and appreciate our reasoning behind not telling them. I would rather do that than stir everything up now when my hope is that we will work through this.
I feel very good about this decision and have made peace with it. It's the right thing to do for me.
okay, I can see that. As long as if it keeps up, and you don't lie to cover for him...but, you are a long way from that... j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
