"I'm willing to bet that she thinks this is all about SEX with you. It's not, it's about intimacy. It's not just that you want to use her body (which I bet is what she thinks), you want everything that comes with that sexual connection...closeness, intimacy, that special bond. Those are things unfamiliar to her when you talk about SEX.
On the one hand, I do not beleive that she thinks it is all about using her body, quite the opposite. I think she has a much narrower view, in that, sex is a do-able thing when SHE feels the need or feels "close enough" to do it. However, I do not think she even gets as far as what I am thinking or how I view her through the sexual viewpoint. I think she views sex either, as an obligation, or a way to ensure that she is doing what she is "supposed" to do as a wife out of insecurity, or as purely getting her own needs met, viewing me as a living dildo. Either way there is little in the way of "togetherness". When I brought up the issue of weather or not "I still satisfied her" she became violently upset and accused me of accuseing her of faking the feeling. I brought this up because her post coital behaviour sent the message that she was "done now" and to be left alone. I felt manipulated and almost used. Kind of a role reversal.
In all our years of marriage I have NEVER denied her sex. Mostly because it is kind of like a starving man inthat there are always stretches of time (min 1 month) between encounters. This time around though, I know I would not be able to perform even if I wanted to. I don't think I am all that willing to run that emotional risk. If I turnher down I am sure she will be highly offended and overtly or passively hostile. However, I dont think it fair to expect me to be able to just turn the sexual fire on and off as her wants/needs dictate. I am just not willing to play that game any more.
