moving toward...IV

[brueniap]

AH-
I want you to know that I do read your posts and my heart is with you. I also love the advice that PL gave you yesterday. It was right on target.

We, women especially, tend to think that if we let go "they" will think we are done and therefore the door is no longer open. Nothing could be further from the truth. Unless you come right out and tell him the door is no longer open he won't just assume it necessarily.

you'll have times to communicate that message in subtle ways as you work together about your son. You do need to help yourself move on from this phase.

I understand the divorce is looming and coming up soon. This cannot be your focus AH or you will spend your days in a negative funk. And do you really want your H to be attracted to this "same old, same old"?

You keep opening your own wounds. I know we need to cry and grieve. I won't begin to tell you not to do that. And you certainly have come a long way. But a lot of times I see you saying to your H "and just one more thing". I'm glad you asked about what he meant yesterday. That was calming and peaceful.
I do think that analyzing everything is what hurts you so much.

You need to break your own habits and start letting the positives you've been doing be the forefront of your life. That doesn't mean you have to let go of H by being positive. A positive, secure in herself woman is very attractive. In fact, this kind of person is much more attractive than the critical, self-analyzing, depressed female.

There is life out there without H. And as you find it there is just the chance that he may sit up and take notice. But you don't GAL for that reason, which you well know. You GAL for YOU and you will be so much happier.

There is nothing wrong in letting go the negative clutching on to something. This life is a one day at a time process. We can't possibly see into the future all the things we think mite happen if we do this or that. And to try and do so may just ruin our future and our future happiness.

Go back to "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway". Let go the negatives and grasp on to the positives for dear life for that is where dear life really is.

I love you AH


brue