continue on your path to taking care of yourself and moving forward.
Just wish it wasn't so painful!!!! Woke up at 3am worrying again.
H was at the house yesterday when D16 got home from school and she asked him what his plans were. He said, "I haven't decided yet". I suggested she avoid asking him questions about us. That way they can have a more enjoyable relationship. He mentioned to me that he might invite her out on the boat on Sunday. I hope he will follow through!
I haven't detached enough! Saw a letter on the computer (it was just there...did he want me to see it???) He's taking her flying on Sat! It made me so angry!!!! Why couldn't he have bothered to do fun things with ME????? Also, saw he had purchased something from a flower shop the other day (we still have a joint checkbook so it really wasn't snooping, was it?). I haven't gotten flowers in years (except the ones I bought myself!). AND HE TELLS ME IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD; I HAVE NO VALID REASON TO NOT TRUST HIM!
I so want to call BIL and ask him what he thinks of H and FF's relationship now. BUT I WON'T. I want to show up at the airport on Saturday am. I considered calling his FF and ask if she'd like to have coffee with me Saturday am and see how she reacts (She had suggested coffee before H decided to leave). I thought of showing up at the boat Sat am with breakfast and watch him squirm when it was time for him to leave. I have thought of tracking down his FF's supposedly BF and suggest we both meet at the airport.
So those are my evil twin thoughts! Instead I know I need to find something positive to do for myself!!!!!!! Matilda
