Thanks Yoyo I needed to hear that.... I keep thinking my W is going to run out and file for D. At this point I will not file anything but I cannot stop her if she does.
Now that my W has our kids during the day and not at night, the last two days she has called to let me know what they are up to for the day. This stopped a couple of weeks ago.
She also called me last night after she left the house to ok her plans with our kids this weekend. This is her weekend off so it is her weekend with our kids. As far as I am concerned she is free to do whatever with them as long as it doesn't include the OM. My W is a good mom so I do not worry about her doing anything crazy with our kids - besides bringing them around the OM.
Maybe I am going through a MLC myself because besides thinking about getting a new car I am really contemplating buying a flat panel TV. I think that it would be fun for me and the girls to have a nice TV for movie nights. Not that I cannot have movie nights with our 27 inch TV but sitting in front of a big screen would be cool.
Tonight my W works with the OM and again tomorrow. With them working together I feel it will be impossible for her to get over him.
I have to think of the positives, I put up some boundaries and so far she is respecting them.
ERC, I know what you mean about them working with OP. In my case she is his secretary. We are separated so she sees him far more than I do. She sees him everyday. He tells me they are not seeing each other outside of work, but it's hard to believe him because of the lies he has told me in the past. It absolutely drives me crazy. I'm like you I don't know how they can get them out of their systems being around them all the time!
I keep hoping our history together will wake up our spouses! Right now I'm trying to stay upbeat and be his "friend". I just try to communicate with him about the girls on friendly basis. I know he learns more about the girls from me than he would on his own. But I don't call him much and then it is a valid reason. If they can't love us now, maybe they can "like" us.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yoyo, I wish we could be friends rightnow, we don't even have that going for us. Our R has disintegrated to the point were there is not much left to it. While she has been in IC for the last few months and not totally honest with the C she has rapidly fell further away from me and I think her C was supporting her leaving me. I hope her C is changing her tune a littlebit now knowing about the A being on going. Unfortunately, now we are to the point were I don't know if she could ever change her feelings towards me. I had some hope earlier on but as time has gone on it has been getting trampled on by my W. I just keep praying that God will change my W heart towards me.
I had IC this afternoon and it went fairly well. She gave me some homework for the first time today which was nice to go away with an action item, though it is kind of a bummer what I need to do.
My W wrote a letter to the OM indicating that they could nolonger communicate except on a professional level. My FIL is planning on delivering it to the OM. We will see if they are finally able to stop... I am not getting my hopes up.
Today is day 2 of our seperation and so far my W is respecting my boundaries. I am hopefull that she can atleast respect this request of mine. Again we will see how this goes.
If it makes you feel any better, my H and I went through a period of time where we were not friends either. At least that part of our R is much better. We can talk about normal stuff (just not the R for goodness sake!) and have fun together. It is possible to get that friendship piece back.
I am not sure why I just tortured myself but I did.... I went to shutterfly and put together a picture book for my W for mothers day. This is obviously from the girls but I did add an ILY at the end of the book. I guess I will see how that goes over.
Going through all of our pictures for the book killed me, that was the torture remembering better days. I have to admit that I was brought to tears. I am just glad that my W is not here to witness the mess that I can easily become. Did I ever mention that I used to played in the minor leagues, I am supposed to be a tough guy right?
I just hate what my W is doing and knowing that she is working with AOM rightnow and the fact that I had a few Smirnoff Ice's tonight is making me miserable.
Good morning.. The drinking thing sometimes gets me into trouble wth my emotions, too. I would have been sobbing uncontrollably putting that together if I were you!! I bet your W will love the picture book.. And, it will remind her of the good times you all had as a family as well. She can keep it with her and look at it and realize what she is giving up!
I hope it brings her to tears like it did me putting it together. Yes, by the time I finished the book I was crying uncontrollably. I think it will be a great gift, but, putting it together has taken its toll on me emotionally. Today has been rough. The sense of loss, rejection, lonliness are magnified today. I hope as the day goes on these intense feeling start to fade abit.
I have to admit that i snoop too,but i have to keep it in my head that i am only looking for the end in all this and not to use what i find against him. He has no idea i have found what i have and won't as long as i don't need to use it for D purposes and i don't think i will have to.
Hang in there try to think of positives and get a PMA. let her see you happy(even if you are not).
Smirnoff MMM good, but not good for the emotional end.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
My W called me this afternoon to tell that I can pickup our kids at a friends house. She is acting like my 5D throwing a fit. I hope she figures out that she is not punishing me by not seeing me. Mind you I would love to see my W and have a great M but that is not were we are at.
I picked up the girls, headed home, and threw a pizza in the oven for dinner. While we where waiting for dinner to cook my daughters friends from next door came over to play. Their mom also came by to chat. My 5D showed our neighbor her lose tooth to which she then took it out. So my 5D has lost her first baby tooth. It is going to kill my W not being here for that and knowing that it was our neighbor who helped won't be easy for her to swallow either. We will she how she reacts to the news. My 5D left her a message on her cell phone. I know I was on a business trip when my 5D started walking for the first time and that emotionally was hard on me not being there for it.
I am emotionally doing alot better now that I have my girls. They are just to precious. D2 is already in bed for the night and D5 is still hanging out next door with her friends.
I got a hair cut tonight, my neighbor is also my stylist. Let's see if my W notices, she did not last time. We actually decided on a new style for me nothing drastic but it should defiantly be noticable.
I'm still hoping and praying that this will all workout.
Nothing occuring in my M.... literally nothing. I am really getting worried by the lack of interaction between my W and I. Also, the fact that she seems to be ok with it. She has the girls this weekend, rightnow I am home alone to sit and ponder life. I know that I should get out of the house. Maybe I will go to my parents for the night... My problem with going out is that most of my friends are married and cannot just go out for the night at the drop of a hat. One good thing is that softball starts next week that will give me something to look forward to.
My W unfortunately works on Mothers Day, I was really hoping this was a good excuse to have a family day and create a positive interaction with my W. But it looks like that is not going to happen. I will have to be creative and make Mothers Day another day. Maybe the girls and I can make a nice dinner for my W and this can be one of the nights that the W stays to put the girls to bed.
I just made up my mind. I am getting out of the house....Don't know where I am going to go but I am going somewhere.
