Okay well I think my XH is having his "period" right now. Things were going fine we were being friendly chatting etc... etc... and then BAM... he isn't responding like he normally does. He has put up an ad on Match.com.
I still love him with all my heart, but this is getting OLD! This being close, talking, being normal friends.... but BAM something happens (I never know what I can only guess it is that he starts to have feelings for me) and he isn't talking to me again.
Does this cat and mouse game EVER end? I am just tired. I just want to talk to him. I just want to have a real conversation and find out what is going on in his head. I find all of this VERY tiring! I also find it hard. Because I NEVER call him. I let him call me, I will e-mail him, but I back off when he gets quiet etc. I don't know. Maybe I am Standing for something that he really doesn't want anymore. Maybe I am Standing and waiting for my partner to return and he isn't even in the same state as I am.
Why are MLC/QLC incapable of having a conversation and being honest?
Maybe this is me moving on.... but I just want more than that. I want to be able to call and not feel like I would be intruding on his life. I want to be able to ask him why he does the things he does, without feeling like I should not be asking him any question. I want to be able to ask him out to lunch without him getting all "weird" on me. I want to be able to ask him about more than work. I just feel confined. I feel like I am his "hidden" secret and I need to stay in the shadows. I am just tired of being "Shadow Girl". I have been in the shadows for most of our realtionship. I just want more.
