Thanks, 25. I agree and worked hard to not get up my expectations but to be somewhat encouraged by the events.
Yesterday I did better in the afternoon/evening. I sent him a few e-mails about business items, but no phone calls or voicemail messages. He did not come home last night, but that was okay. It certainly didn't change that he came home the night before.
I saw him for a while this morning. We had a meeting to look at that property I told you I found out about yesterday. He offered to drive us there, which was nice. I don't think I've been in his car since December.... How sad is that? So I took that as a small baby step.
The meeting went fine, and we discussed some other business items.
When he dropped me off at my car to leave, he leaned over in his car and gave me a kiss, and it was a nice kiss - not just a peck, but nothing over the top passionate either. I kept leaning over after he kissed me, and he leaned over and gave me another kiss, this time a nice, passionate one. Then he said he had to get back to work, so I got out quickly and drove away.
He hasn't really kissed me at all since this whole thing began aside from the few times that he has come home. It's usually been just hugs, and it's been usually with me initiating them. So it was nice that both he initiated it and that he gave me a nice kiss. I know it's small, but it's a small change from what has been happening, so I'll take it!
We have a dinner meeting tonight with some investors of ours, just the four of us. I won't contact him at all until then, and we'll see how the dinner goes...
It's slowly getting easier to let him be, maybe because I see some small steps in progress. Again, I won't get overexcited or too encouraged, but at least it's some steps in the right direction...
As for ME, I'm getting a bit more caught up on work. I still have a LONG way to go, but I'm able to focus so much better being at home. When we do reconcile, I think it may be good for us to keep our offices in separate places. I think the distance is good for us. We were around each other too much. We need some more separation between our business and personal lives, and I think this will help with that. I don't know that I want to keep working out of the house, but maybe I could have a different office somewhere else.
The bowling league is starting in a few weeks, so I'm excited about that. It's all women, so I'm hoping to make some new friends that H does not know. That will be a good thing.
I'm going out with a friend this weekend for Cinco de Mayo, so I'm looking forward to that.
And I'm working hard to keep my mind positive and focused towards the task at hand, which is letting him go for now and making me better and stronger.
