" I know that I have to be firm and only take him back under the conditions that you mentioned but I guess where I am troubled is that I can't even get him on board with the M right now let alone any treatment. "
Take the M off the table. You shouldn't even consider attempting an M with H at this point.
As for H being truthful, blah blah blah. No, he has not been. You already know this has been going on at least two years. Behavior like this doesn't start out of the blue. It doesn't SUDDENLY seem OK to go out and fukc a stranger you found on the internet. This behavior was probably preceded by hidden porn, compulsive masturbation, phone sex, cybersex, and so on. It might very well have started when he was sent a way as a kid -- a kid who discovered masturbation as a great way to self-sooth but was incredibly shamed by it. Who knows. It doesn't matter. Compassion is good, it can help you with your anger. But, it won't fix him.
