Light at the End?

[Astimegoeson]

I knew about my W's affair Months before I brought it up to her. I also had solid evidence which even to this day she doesn't know I have.

I approached the topic in a calm manner without judgement and without ultimatums and my w still became confrontational on the subject, so be prepared. It's a bonus if she actually sits down with you and talks rationally about it. That would be an excellent sign that she's willing to work on your M though.

If she doesn't want to talk about it or becomes angry, defensive, or guarded about it, drop the subject and walk away. Don't argue your points or try to show her proof. She'll understand inside that you know and it will change the dynamics of your relationship with her from that point on. She'll realize how you feel about it even if she doesn't express it outwardly.

It's really for your benefit and well being to bring it up. It's not necessarily to save your M although it is something that needs to be discussed if reconciliation is possible.

Either way, you know your not going to be able to keep this bottled up inside while living on top of each other.

I struggled where you are for the longest time it seems. The similarities are just uncanny to me. I sometimes wonder if they all carry the same play book with them.