I think Rob's comments are right on target here. You have made so much progress in learning to choose your actions in the midst of emotional chaos. Can you find the strength to approach W in this way?
You've mentioned before that you want a loving, respectful R someday, and IMHO, being able to discuss serious issues is a vital part of that kind of R. You can't control W's reaction or level of maturity for that matter, but being able to participate in that kind of an interaction on your part is something worth developing.
