I can't forgive her until we get this issue out in the open.
That's key! This secrecy and your W's indifference is killing you Sol, I can sense it in your post and I'll bet everyone else here can to.
Have you heard the phrase.."the truth will set you free"? The feeling that's sucking the life out of you is from keeping everything inside yourself.
You can forgive her without her asking for it, I've done that with my stbx, but it's difficult moving on until this issue is in the open. There are differences of opinion here regarding exposing the A. but I just can't understand how you can even consider reconciliation without exposing it. It was such a relief to me when I brought it up with my waw. It was like a two ton weight lifted off my shoulder. It really helped me to define the direction I ultimately decided to go in.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
