lonely and tired of caring

[MJontheMend]

One important thing to remember is that being nice or supportive is not what makes a person sexually attractive. Of course, it is important to be nice and supportive in a relationship but it will never get you hot sex. Think about this in the context of the advice HAP gave you to 'get a life' or go back to 'dating mode'. My 2bx is a really anxiety-prone high maintenance type man so when we were together I was always doing things like making sure the house was clean and tidy and a delicious dinner was served so that he could relax so that maybe I could get laid. Now, he's living by himself in a barren apartment and eating frozen meals every night and he thinks I'm a crazy b*tch for dating so soon after we split but...after he saw me in the grocery store last week he felt compelled to call me and tell me how hot I am and try to get me to have sex with him.


So, when I think about an issue like housework which you mentioned, I would say the "sexiest" way you could deal with the issue would be to rationally figure out what was fair (For instance, if you work 40 hours and she works 20 maybe you should do i/3 of the housework) in your own mind and draw a strong line in the sand. It will do you not one bit of good to do more than that in your situation because your W will just see it as something you are doing to get laid and discount it as such. You are much better off conveying "I'm doing this much housework because I'm a fair relationship partner. If you want to pout and withhold sex that's your bad which I may or may not tolerate." than "I will do all the housework you demand if you will just, pretty please, have sex with me.".