There is no need for you to tell me that she is a wonderful woman. Please don't think that I am assuming because of anything you say that she doesn't have good/redeeming qualities about her...obviously she must, you were attracted to her for a reason. She does obviously have issues though that could make existing in a marriage with her very difficult. It's amazing how we can be married to someone, have wonderful children...be surrounded by people who care for us and still be supremely lonely...because we don't receive that emotional connection from the one person we crave it the most from...our spouse. I'm all too familiar with that feeling....at least I was.
Ok I must ask you this and I'm going to apologize up front if this comes across harsh...but it's the only way I can ask it and I tend to shoot straight, ok?
Why don't you value yourself more? Why are you willing to stay in a "dead marriage"?
Now, I know you love her...I heard you when you said that, but "love" isn't always enough....as you know, to make you happy. Yes, you have kids...and I understand people stay in marriages for the kids, or in order not to be separated from them too....BUT what about your happiness?
Have you taken any drastic measures to wake her up? By that I mean...have you drawn a line in the sand about her behavior (not meeting your needs) and said "I cannot live like this, if things do not change (or if we do not seek marriage counseling) you won't have to worry about threatening me with a divorce...because I'll be the one filing."?
And lastly...sorry if I missed this but if you invited her to MC (I only read that you had been to counseling), what did she say?
