Light at the End?

[~Sol]

I see that, and I hate the waves. I can't even look at her straight in the eyes. She knows what she did. How can she hide it and still pretend to have a "happy family"????

I have been thinking about divorce, just thinking, and thought things through. It would hurt both of us financially and it would devastate the kids, just complete chaos at first. It pains me to know that I can't go that route at this time, but that is what I feel, and I know I can't base my actions on feelings alone. So I have to get divorce out of my mind for now. I get lots of teary moments out of the blue.

But I also think about working things through. I would hate for all of this to happen again. I know for myself that I cannot cheat on my partner, I think about the results and consequences of my actions, maybe that's why I am still in one piece and still living at home? Guess I have more common sense than I thought. I know I need to start over. How do I do that with her? I know what she did. And I can't forgive her until we get this issue out in the open. I am waiting for my lab tests for the rest of my results to come back soon. My doctor will call me directly and let me know.