There is no way I would tell my h that he is a lousy lover. I feel bad enough that I said I was bored. I was thinking that I would let my h look at his list by himself whenever he is ready. Maybe he would prefer that we look at it together. It would be wonderful if we could actually talk about it.
I climax nearly every time my h and I ml, but I also can say that very few encounters have been realy good. (I haven't said that to my h and never will--at least not unless I say it in an extremely gentle way.) I think the ones I would say are really good, are the ones that were different. I really liked that he made me climax twice once--even though that was all that was different. Another time he did a combination of a couple things at the same time. That was spectacular. As I said before, it isn't the climax that is important. It's how much fun you have getting there. Focus on the fun stuff. The climax will happen on its own.
Your ???? definitely wouldn't be filled in with handsome. I have no idea what you look like, but I'm sure your w would not base sexual boredom on a lack of good looks. I am sure she finds you handsome anyway. Perhaps any of your other words fit. The word "varied" may also fit. Try a variety of things. Make sure you warm her up with more flirting and romance. And make sure the flirting and romance are just that sometimes--no sex after. Flirting and romance without feeling like you have to have sex makes a woman feel like you find her attractive without feeling like a sex object. I know my h thinks I am attractive, but it means so much more when he shows me in this way.
Do you think your w would be more willing to ML with you if you told her you wanted her to teach you how to pleasure her? Maybe she is having trouble telling you what she likes. That is my problem. It bothers me that I haven't been able to verbalize my sexual desires.
One time, I surprised my h with a date at home when our d had an after school activity. I met him at the door in a sexy dress. We had a candlelit dinner with wine and soft music. We danced afterward and ended up undressing each other. I don't think we had ever undressed each other before. That was a big turn on for me. I wonder if she would consider planning a romantic interlude? You would need to let her set the pace for the whole date.
It also bothers me that I don't know much about what pleasures my h. When I ask him what he likes, he says, "Anything." If I ask him if he liked what I just did, he says, rather abruptly, "It's fine." He is very quiet when ml, so it is difficult to tell whether he is liking what I am doing. I read one of Lou Paget's books about how a woman can pleasure her man. It was very descriptive and had lots of pictures. I tried some of them on my h, but, I couldn't tell if he liked it.
So it sounds like we are in a similar sit. All four of us are a bit inept when it comes to knowing how to pleasure our partner.
