Damn,just lost a post... been going to post, been so busy havent. work is wild, I am stressed out and slow...budget cuts expected 7/1, hope I dont' join the ranks of the unemployed. Some days I think H & I are fine, somedays I am scared to death. he doesnt seem as "mushy" as he was for a while, which I miss; sometimes he is cranky and gritchy, which scares the crap out of me. He insists nothing at all is going on w/monster (seems like I heard that one somewhere before though) and I have to admit there is no evidence that there is. He does complain about how busy he is at work, and I find myself holding my breath waiting for "doing Paperwork" on the weekends to start again, and so far it hasnt, he is busy, I still do check his schedule occassinally. for the last 3 months he has shown me the phone bill statements. no calls. but still... now, here's a weird thing....about a month ago, he actually emailed me a pic that monster had sent him. evidently it was a christmas present several years ago. ahem. yes, it is that kind of pic. she is sprawled on a bed in a see-through teddy. I have had a mixed reaction to it. on the one hand it really grossed me out...on the other, I find myself thinking she really doesnt have anything I dont have in that dept.. Puzzles me as to his thinking in sending it. He said he wanted to prove to me that it really was over, so he was sending me ammo that I could use to forever keep monster humble. yeah, I guess it's that ok. A time or two I have mentioned my anxieties, and H has gotten irritated that he just wants to forget (???) and that he can't if/when I keep bringing it back up. So, I keep on plugging...right now I am just plain pooped and stressed. S is doing ok, diabetes is actually pretty well controlled at the time, esp. for a 14 y.o. D is about 5 weeks from due date, SIL is an anxious mess, guess he just needs a few weeks of diaper changing and getting up all hours to get over that. D has done well until this weekend, when she had one leg swell up, and has some minute amt of protein in urine...but hopefully all will be well. My brother is another story, and I'm really struggling. havent talked to him for a few days, he's been too ill to talk. He's been hospitalized for a week for the last kind of chemo they can give him. It's nasty, a combo called ICE...I'm sure you're familiar with it, Ellie.... concern is over kidney failure...and of course it not working. they have taken nearly 7 liters of fluid off his lungs in the last week. Specialist in Omaha told his local oncologist to be preparing hm mentally for a bone marrow transplant. Of course the issue then is finding a donor if he is unable to use his own stem cells. dont' recall if I posted, his cancer was upgraded to stage 4. sucks big time. I do have a question that I've been pondering for a week or so... let's see if I can word this to make sense. ummmm, ok. If a mother has an rh negative factor on her blood type, and the father has rh positive, is it possible some of their children would have rh negative factor? I always understood, from personal experience, that the postive factor is always dominate, as I'm positive, H is negative, but Dr's always told me I didnt have to worry about rh incompatibility because the postive is always dominate so the babys factor will match mine, thus no problem. ...you can probably guess where this is arising from! (no, not from daughter).... And then, to ice the cake, H's youngest sister seems to have hit MLC BIG time at 37, with a 14 mo, 10 yo, and 12 yo. Through her husband out of the house, dumped the male kids with inlaws, and has started "running" with jr-hi aged dr's friends. Lost huge amounts of wt, spending so much on clothes, shoes, fingernails and hair that there is concern of bankruptcy, calling in sick at work and disappearing, using lots of lies that fall through...all sounds familiar. everyone believes she is having an A....I'd guess so, H has said for some time she was. her H is lost...dumbstruck, as we all are. MIL is absolutely freaked out, wants us to take the kids....talk to her...all that stuff. hard to say no...but we can't. I would sink us in a heart beat. bleh. I need a vacation.... and I need to balance the check book, pay bills, clean house, fix supper......no wonder I feel tired. I did order my bike I've been gonna get for 2 years though, is should be in at the bike shop...didnt want to do a walmart specila at my age...although i'll have to put it on layaway.
