CE - most of the information I found was through the internet. We did have to pay someone in England to be an intermediary because they have some strange rules over there.
If you are searching in the States it is a LOT easier though as most States have access to their records for relatively little or no fees. Also the States have access to a lot of records that Canada and other countries don't because their laws allow for records to be released after 70 years (I believe) whereas Canada's is 90 and England's is 100 - it can get quite complicated
My H's records were particularly difficult because he was adopted and anyone adopted in England prior to 1975 has to go through this whole big ordeal about having them see a psychiatrist, getting papers signed, blah blah blah and even then, they don't just release your file. Then we had to get a lawyer over there to appear for us in court to have the adoption file released. We were thrilled - they guy felt so bad for us, he never charged us a cent. Most aren't that fortunate though
You have to be careful though - there are SO many scammers out there willing to "find your lost relatives" and can soak you for literally thousands and still be nowhere - so be careful
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Actually this is interesting too. Your H was born in England...my biological mother is from...Ireland. I am first generation. I know a bit about my biological mother because my adoptive mother worked in the hospital I was born in. When I was born she was told I was going to be put up for adoption and they had some connections at the time...which helped them adopt me specifically through the state.
My adoptive mother was also not able to have another child...that's why they adopted me. They had my brother (who is great!) and wanted a daughter, voila! There I was, red hair and all Our son is my little carbon copy too! Has my strawberry blonde hair and green eyes....no matter where we go people know he belongs to me LOL.
See the thing is in my situation, if I wanted to find out more about my biological mother...I could, my mother has the ability to help me out in that way if I want...I just don't want. My adoptive mother and I are VERY close, we are best friends...just knowing she would help me means a lot. She's like me though, neither of us have felt the urge to go find our parents, even though she...had a much tougher time of it in the home she was raised in.
...my biological mother is from...Ireland. I know a bit about my biological mother because my adoptive mother worked in the hospital I was born in.
My adoptive mother was also not able to have another child...that's why they adopted me.
Interesting - yet again.
I am positive my H's family knew the family he came from because his adoptive mother said if anything happened to her and her husband, he was to go to her sister. Well, her sister just happened to marry a guy whose last name matches my H's grgrandmother's - coincidence? I don't think so, particularly since it was a VERY uncommon name then.
Why did they adopt him? Well, they already had one child (a girl) and his adoptive mother couldn't have any other children - here we go again - LOL
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
My mom claims not to know squat. My native state takes closed records very seriously... non-identifying (and purposefully vague) information only, no original birth certificate except with a court order, psychiatric consult just to get hooked up through the state's reunion registry, the whole bit. The investigators I talked to said that my state was one of the hardest and most expensive states to dig up the needed records.
I've recently gotten my mom to talk about the adoption from her point of view, but I haven't come out and admitted that I want to search. I always had the impression she'd be VERY hurt if I wanted to search, but she never actually said anything one way or the other about it, and I may have been wrong about her all these years. My dad couldn't have any children, and I was raised as an only child... one of the biggest reasons I want to search is because I want to get to know my siblings! Yeah, I know it still won't be the same, but I really want to meet them.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
I'm not "searching" for my biological family but...I have at the least made it easier in case someone does come looking for me. Here's a website where you can get advice on searching, AND put your name in a database for anyone who could be searching for you as well.
My state of origin also takes sealed records very seriously and at the time of my adoption all adoption records were sealed.
Interestingly enough....since I am Irish, I was also adopted into an Irish family...but they are not related in any way to my biological family. Although, there are plenty of us running around that's for sure LOL.
I just realized something else. My H has red hair - LOL. Not as red as it used to be cuz he's pretty much bald (and grey) now - LOL but it used to be
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Well, we had the "talk" and I thought I handled it quite well but all of a sudden he freaked out, raised his voice (which he never does) and said "NO WOMAN IS GOING TO DOMINATE MY LIFE"
I don't know where the hell that came from but I very calmly said, "what makes you think I am trying to dominate your life, if anything YOU are the one that has control over everything from day one. You have access to everything about me" I told him I have done nothing but love him unconditionally and be by his side. I didn't throw anything in his face (although I sure felt like it). I kept calmly repeating that I loved him and that we have been through so much and we are still together, that has to count for something. He didn't say much, seemed to calm down and then just said "I'm not saying anything right now, I have to be by myself and think a few things through. All I know is that I was happy until I started getting involved in relationships and that maybe it's just better to not get involved in one and just be by myself"
I just about fell over. Four days ago he told the C that we were doing so well and that he felt our R was going to be even better than it had ever been and now he's talking being by himself? WTH?
I am in shock
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
H just went to bed - no goodnight kiss, no hug, no nothing - that is NOT like him AT ALL. I am concerned but should I just let it be? And I know this sounds like a stupid question but I usually make his lunch, should I bother?
I am still shell shocked
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Our son is my little carbon copy too! Has my strawberry blonde hair and green eyes....no matter where we go people know he belongs to me LOL.