Great advice!!! We always have to catch ourselves before we get to these places. My husband has been out of town these last two weeks (but was home over the weekend). Because he's not too far from where OW is I did ask him if he might be running into her. I did try to be nice about it telling him, "I know you don't want to see her, that would probably be very uncomfortable for both of you... but you do work for the same company and it's probably inevitable that you'll have to run into her some time..."
Even through I didn't get mad or angry, he was soooo defensive. I just wish he could talk to me about this. I think your husband was really patient with you.
Unfortunately, maybe I've jumped off the deepend too often in the past, assumed things, got ridiculously angry and maybe now he worries about that? The over reaction.... I think by being calm and reasonable we're probably much better off because they can feel comfortable enough to talk and confide in us....
Of course, when there's a history of the husband lying (like mine...who is amazingly good at it) and then a wife (like me!) overreacting.... well.... that's not an easy piece of advice to follow.
P.s. Cat, I'm glad to see things going well for you. I always enjoy seeing your posts here and reading about positive things going on in your marriage (or challenges worked through!) since we both went through similar emotions and experiences at around the same time.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
