Whore/Madonna Syndrome

[Heywyre]

I was always putting someone else before me

This is unbelieveable!!! THAT is EXACTLY what C and I talked about yesterday, how all my life I have put others before me!

I grew up in a very large family and the older kids (which I was one of) took care of the younger ones. At the age of 8 I was already responsible for taking care of my 4 younger siblings - quite the load to put on a 8-year old. I just learned that their needs came before mine. It wasn't that I begrudged it, nor do I do now. My H and children have always come first.

Now having said that, in my first marriage I lost who I was because I allowed that to go to far. When I got divorced, I swore NEVER to go there again and I have held true to my word for a lot of years. The past few years I have let that slip. I am still very much in control but with my H having MAJOR depression and ending up in the emergency ward of the hospital because of it, I wasn't about to put my "needs" first. He needed someone to be by his side and that's what I did. However, in the process, I lost a lot of my own personal needs being met. We were in a major car accident 4 years ago and that didn't help things and I have some health issues because of that, that has affected our R also. That is the part that I am just starting to take back. I am addressing what I need to do to help ME. Up until now, so much of the concentration has been about HIM and, it was justified. But I believe that he is not only strong enough to get through the rest by himself, he is also strong enough to start helping ME heal too (another thing C and I talked about - he asked what was being done to help me heal from the hurt and pain I am going through)