Sorry to nag...but isn't all the analyzing in bed just more of the same? Finding fault with him not "guessing" right, even though you admit you don't verbalize, you expect him to just know...
Now, since you wrote it down and gave him "directions" I guess he has to study up to do it right. Which means you'll still get the credit for it and he'll only be following your lead...OR, he can try something different but since it's not on the list, he'll be wrong, again...
Honestly, can't you see how this is a no win for him? Maybe I'm off, VC, thoughts? I KNOW it's hard to talk about ml, and maybe b/c h and I are still geographically apart it's sort of easier to discuss, takes the pressure off...but still, he IS a man and doesn't he have some pride/ego about this? Doesn't this note writing and directing and mind reading, just take the spontaneity, and joy and love out of something that is not a sport or competition. It's an expression of love. Why not let him speak to you in HIS love language, and learn to receive it as such. I fear you are closing your heart to so much love b/c it is not wrapped the way you want it to be. We all do this. H's too. Wanting us to work full time to "pull our weight" when we actually did something harder by staying at home (and I know since I've done both), with no outside rewards...b/c we love them, and our children. Important thing is we spoke in our love language as best we could, and will try hard to learn theirs...(Five Love Languages--Great book, btw). The three of us have great examples of how we shut out the love they were sending, b/c we each have a "bad flowers" or "Bad present" experience that we wish we could take back and do over, with gratitude for the gesture it was meant to be. This is one specific goal I have with H, and that is to shut up about the "not on the list I wrote" and say/mean it when I say THANK YOU...(btw, he consisistenly purchases the wrong perfume for me, like the one I mention negatively, as in "i hate Chanel #5, and then I get it)...this Christmas, he got it right (J'adore) (D18 may have been with him but who cares?) and I wear it every time I'm with him. I learned a lesson. First of my 356 lessons, now, on to #2...
Food for thought. No offense. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
