Have you told your H recently that you liked it when he bought you flowers. Tell him you would love it even if they were dead flowers.
My H is having a hard time letting go of my past angry reactions as well. I also used to get mad if he didn't do something just right. In the last several months we've had few major disagreements, but when we do, I don't yell at him or even raise my voice anymore, even though he still snaps and snarls at me. Sometimes he snaps and snarls and says so many mean things that I do wind up saying something mean back. It takes a lot to even get me to that point though. I hope he has noticed.
We recently bought a new bedroom set. Saturday was it's initiation. Afterward, he commented that the headboard was noisy and that was why he didn't want one. I told him that I didn't care whether we had one either. I asked him if he felt that I had insisted on it when we bought it. He said, "Yes." I said, "You asked me if I wanted a headboard and footboard. I said that it would be nice to have. If you ask me for my opinion, I'm going to give you my opinion." I also told him that if he has a strong opinion about something, please speak up. He said, "Okay" and left it at that. Previously, he would have argued with me saying that I would have been angry if he said he didn't want the headboard and footboard. So either he is seeing that I'm trying, or he agreed because he wanted to make sure the issue was dropped.
