Hate to say this RGM, but imho, the biggest reason you forced your wife to tell them was to punish her for hurting you so much. True, the game of charades is really like the Movie Gaslight, where the H tries to make his w crazy by acting one way but doing the opposite. (We've ALL been cast in parts of that play, apparently). It hurts and feels insane. Still, you know in your heart the way it was worded was not designed to promote peace and sure didn't accomplish whatever goal you had, or did it?
Besides, remember that in YOUR WIFE"S eyes, this is Not her fault. It's like getting a bad headache, "just happens." No choice, no option, just "is." IF it is someone's fault, I suspect your wife thinks it's yours. So when you do anything she can view as punitive, you confirm her negative thoughts and justifications for leaving. The maternal guilt will/must overwhelm her if you get the kids.
So bear in mind that someday she may change her mind BUT you'll Never know, unless you KEEP THE ROAD HOME PAVED AND SMOOTH...if that's something you can do.
As for how many times one can "come back" if that is what she did....well I liken it to an addiction and recovery/relapse. Most recovered alcoholics/addicts DO relapse a time or two (I think the average is twice, according to those who'd been otherwise sober/clean for 20+ years). So, though it sucks, it could be a needed step. hang in there, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
