I'll tell you why. A few weeks ago I gave my wife and her friend tickets to a concert they both really wanted to go to, as a birthday present to my wife. At 11:30 or so W calls and says, "We were coming out of the bathroom and there were a couple of guys and a girl from the band, they invited us to a party at the hotel bar where they are staying and we want to go".
I didn't like it, sounded groupie-ish to me but whatever. W ended up not going and I let it drop.
Couple weeks later her sister is talking about the concert and says to me, "they were standing by the bathroom and run into people from the band? give me a break. Don't you remember what (W's friend) did at the Lionel Ritchie concert? Rmember when she disappeared, we couldn't find her than when she does show up again she told us that she had tried to get backstage to meet Lionel but security caught her? Now do you really think the band is going to be walking out the front door or near the public restroom and that's how they "ran" into the band? I'll bet you (W's friend) pulled that same stunt again and W had no choice but to go with her as W rode with friend in friend's car. I'm telling you, W is lying about that night".
Since my W's sister said that to me, I've been in turmoil about this. W's friend now wants her to fly to LA with her in June. I've heard some of her 'road trip' stories after she has returned from these business conventions. I just can't get it out of my head that if she lied about the circumstances surrounding this other incident, for whatever reason, I'm still uneasy about it.
Do I confront her? I don't think I should given our history. For example, last night I was trying to download a picture from my nieces musical that I had taken using my phone and sent to W's phone as W was in Michigan and had to miss the musical. Same account, so when I went online to download it, I asked her if she knew how to make it part of a folder in my pictures. She immediately was defensive and wanted to know what I was looking for, I showed her the page I was on, the photo and told her what I was trying to do but kept getting error messages. She said, "it's been so long, I don't know that I will ever be able to think that you aren't checking up on me". W then sat down at the computer and worked on taking care of the problem for me. It was the holding breath, then relaxing and breathing type thing again.
I didn't know what to say, I wanted to say, just believe me, I'm working so hard and have changed so much, I really am the guy you first met, I've peeled away the layers and crud that covered the real me up, this is me again, genuine. But words mean nothing, actions mean everything. So I left it alone, otherwise it's dangerously close to the path that leads to R talk and by her actions W was moving past it and helping me work in photosuite. After working on it for awhile, W and I went to bed, watched some TV to unwind and then went to sleep. Despite the potential for tension, things ended peacefully and she was in a good mood this morning.
I know at some point, her sister is going to ask about the circumstances regarding the concert. Her sister doesn't have a lot of love for W's friend due to some other things, and her influence on W. I did get out of the conversation regarding lying/not lying without any negative comments from me and via changing the topic.
Yet now, it is really starting to bother me. At the time, W said, "I didn't go, why do we need to discuss it?" To me, that's a valid point. I'm going to have to think about Cat's post, stop and think before I speak. If there was something more to her story as SIL believes, (and honestly, I do as well, SIL take on it makes sense), does it really matter? She didn't go, she came home to me. Things aren't great, yet she still hugs me, we sleep in the same bed, she does kiss me. I don't know. I think I should just leave it alone and deal with the LA trip when it comes up and appears to be a certain thing, right now it's just talk.
