My wife is falling in love with OM - help.

[Astimegoeson]

Think back when you were a bachelor. That confidence went hand in hand with the PMA and happy go lucky attitude you had. You naturally had fun wherever you went and whatever you did. Entertaining yourself was really easy. You had the world by the b*lls.

Your girlfriend breaking up with you wasn't so bad because you always knew there was a new one out there to replace her. Sometimes, you were juggling three or four Woman at a time and the variety was exciting for you. It was the land of plenty and loosing something or someone wasn't so bad because you could replace it/them. We traveled light back then and didn't really have all that much to worry about loosing anyway.

Your financial responsibilities were not as heavy on you. Changing Jobs because you were bored or wanted to try something new always gave you a sense of freedom you don't have now. Changing jobs was not so monumental, you got a high from trying something different.

Marriage and kids change everything and that sense of responsibility overtakes your carefree sense as a bachelor. As time goes on, you loose your individualism tending to everyone else's needs. With a little tuning you can get back to that frame of mind of bachelorhood and still be a responsible and involved Father. The sense of loss doesn't have to be so emotionally debilitating. The only difference between then (bachelorhood) and now is that kids are involved. You can still maintain the relationship with your kids and even enhance it. You can "let her go" her own way and be that whole person you use to be. That's the person she fell in love with to begin with. If she come back, that's great, but if not, then at least you've regained control over your life and happiness.

It's all really in the mind and how your perceive your situation. Don't think of yourself as a victim, think of your situation as an opportunity to re-discover yourself and what truly makes you happy in life. Others around you will feed off your enthusiasm.