I have read all your posts, and I find your situation intriguing.
Let me ask you a few questions.
What part does Missy play both in the breakup and now as your friend?
Your husband seems to be uncomfortable with you discussing your marriage with her. Why do you think that is?
Why do you think hubby is so haunted by your breakup?
Do you think that he feels that others know more about your actions during the breakup than he does?
Now a suggestion or two.
Stay out of the bars with your friends for a while. Even if he is just being paranoid, don't make it worse for now.
Make SURE you wear your ring.
Stop fighting altogether. You can do it, you simply don't engage. If he is nasty, then retreat. By stopping the fighting, you immediately change the dynamic of the relationship. This can eventually make some room for the two of you address your concerns in a constructive manner.
Also, a word to the wise. Quoting you "...but he MARRIED me SIX YEARS LATER" doesn't mean that he was over the past or that he views the passage of an event such as your marriage, as a "get out of jail free" card or a new start.
What I mean is that it appears to me, that in his mind, your relationship with him, even though disrupted by the breakup, was contiguous. To him, your marriage was not the beginning of your "new" relationship. He has brought along all the baggage of the earlier portion.
It would be unwise to discount his connection to the past just because you don't feel or see it the same way. To do so is to dismiss how he feels about you, the good and the bad. It can also drive a wedge deeply dividing the way he feels about the relationship.
The both of you are going to have to get to the core issue of why the past is causing him so much pain. That is not likely to happen quickly.
Make sure that you are not being grabby/needy/desperate with him right now. I know that seems unfair, but it is purposeful.
I look forward to hearing from you.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
