Ya know...fwiw, I do think your H has good intentions. I just don't think he really "gets it" about trust/privacy. It may take a 2x4 for him to get it, or it may simply take the MC explaining the necessity of it, OR it may take you drawing a firm line in the sand about it.
Hopefully...between the book and the MC he'll see the light on it. When it comes to discussing it though, don't hold back...tell him how it makes you feel, tell him about the triggers it causes...be brutally honest about it.
The MC we had told me not to hold back with my H, not to protect him from my pain...because HE caused the pain I was having to endure, she felt he needed to see it to learn from it. I'm not sure what approach your MC uses, but the one ours used...definitely took the stance that my H needed to be willing to do WHATEVER it took to heal me.
