Will this OW ever go away??!!

[Holly06]

Speak to a DB coach. This is complicated but has many ++++++ .
Sorry about the health issues.

[Rollercoasterider]

Oh this is MLC all right.

First...stop thinking of that few month legal thing as a divorce. You may need to call it that when discussing legla things...but it was not real.

MAny MLCers return prematurely--I'd have been married and divorced and married to Sweetheart ^X had we let it go that far. The divorce was merely a premature return...it's not as complicated as you are making it sound...so you've been married for 18 years then...not 17 the first time and almost one this time.

As for the military issue--it's tough. I totally understand why you don't want to report it--given retirement and such.

BUT...he's reserve...so what else does he do career wise? What other sort of pension and retirement is available.

At some point you need to weight the rsisks. Sounds to me like he neds to reitre completely from the military--but of course that his his choice.

HOw long will the whore hang on...it depends.

First...no worries, she is obviously insecure and desperate. Educated or not, that's a typical OW...it won't last.

But MLC affairs can go on a few years.

I'm so sorry...but we can't tell you how long a desperate woman will persist...perhaps forever. If that is the case...it will be your MLCer that will need to make the break and not her.

LEt it Go. She will persist and this is what must happen for him to figure himself out...it's all part of the MLC process. So Accept amd have Faith that ewventually he will come out of this...better.

Read the resources at the toip and keep posting.

HUGS,
RCR

[Lissett]

RCR you were divorced from sweetheart and remarried to sweetheart?

i missed all that?

bleh

sorry for the Hijack blondie. You have some really great advice here lovey

[Rollercoasterider]

LOL...Lissett...no, but since he's come and gone 6X we could have just done a legal dance each time...

That would be really nuts huh!

It was just an analogy to show that the divorce and rema5rriage is nto a special case...had this been one that was many years apart, that would be different.

[johns_blondie]

I'm doing my best at not obsessing. It's hard as you all know. He knows that I know but he won't admit it. Heck...I've caught him red handed and he still denied it.

He works for the Army and he's a Reservist. His job goes hand in hand with one another. That's why I have to be very careful as how to handle this.

I keep dreaming of walking up to her and slapping her face and telling her to wake up...she's never going to be anything other than OW. It just hurts that he's sharing a part of his life with someone other than me.

I've been the one who stood by his side through many tough times. Worked my A** off putting him through school...and many military schools too. All to further his career and to make a better life for our family. But...nothing seems to be enough for him. He's got to have his cake and eat it too.

By the way...this is his 2nd A. The last one was in 1999. I thought I'd never go through that again and look where I am now.

I just have to be patient...turn the other cheek and love him no matter what. I love him more than he'll ever know. So...I guess I'm in limbo once again for the next 6 months while he's gone to Iraq again. At least she won't be there this time.

[Rollercoasterider]

It just hurts that he's sharing a part of his life with someone other than me.

I just wanted to repaste part of something I said to Hopefloats7 a few days ago about the OW relationship. He is not choosing to spend good or quality time with her. He is giving her a part of himself that he doesn't want to burden you with because he does not like this part. He needs to release his demons...and she is a facilitator for such things.

...with you, everything is and was real...and he cannot handle reality. And he also cannot handle faking things with you. He couldn't give you something unless it was real...that is the respect he has for you--and the respect he lacks for the the OW.

[a new 2moro]

So RCR...when they give OW everything 24-7 and live with them and want a D...they have nothing to give themselves or us? They are consumed with their demons but are not willing to face them? Seems so sad it has to come to this.

[johns_blondie]

The last couple of days have been good. Just trying to focus on getting through another deployment. He'll be leaving on Saturday. I miss him already. God help me...I'm so confused.