Ok Heywyre...I do get your C's point about you trusting you. Often we as betrayed spouses don't trust our own judgement again...and that can be a difficult thing to deal with.
BUT...your H not giving you access online to the phone bill, or to his phone log....BZZZZZZZZZZZZ Nope! His defensivness when you bring this issue up is yet another red flag. I'd say ask for his cell phone when he walks in tonight...but he will probably already have cleared the log. Does he also keep his phone locked? If so...another red flag. You need to at the very minimum insist on having online access to the phone account.
Let me put it really simply....there is NO room for privacy in a marriage....EXCEPT in the bathroom. Many people mistake "privacy" for secrecy. If he's not doing anything wrong with using his phone...then there is no reason to not give you access, just as there is no reason for you not to give him access...transparency runs both directions. You have three red flags right off the bat with this phone situation. #1 he erases the logs, #2 he doesn't allow you access online, #3 he doesn't receive detailed bills. Those are all things to not allow you to see his activity....strike 1, 2, 3!!! Those are all behaviors that indicate HIDING something as well.
You should both have access to each others phones....and ALL internet accounts (e-mails, IM's, Blogs...whatever.) If he wants privacy...he can write his thoughts in a diary.
My H has learned this is simply the way it is....if we are both open books, there is no reason for mistrust to creep in.
You REALLY need to address this issue...I'm sorry, I'm pissed off for you that he's doing this. Yes, he COULD use another phone, he COULD use a LAN line...but he wouldn't have to bother doing that if you aren't able to view the phone activity.
I know you don't need to be hearing this stuff right now...your mind is going nuts as it is...and I'm sorry for that, but this is an important issue.
If you go to http://www.survivinginfidelity.com and view the BB's there...you'll see what an important issue this is. This is a wonderful website, but that one deals specifically with infidelity.
