Ok...one of the things that a truly remorseful wandering spouse needs to do is have complete transparency...that includes giving you full access to his cell phone. Erasing the logs n'stuff like that is a no, no. You need to talk to him about that. If he has nothing to hide then why erase the log? Things like that CAUSE triggers in betrayed spouses.
You do have access to the phone bill don't you? I mean, most cell phone companies have the ability to look at the logs online. When we had t-mobile the log was virtually live...as soon as a number was dialed or received you could view it. Not all are that quick, but many of them allow you this access. You should at the minimum have that. That is one of the ways of providing you with comfort while you build trust.
I'll fess up about something too. After I found out what my H did I signed him up online (without his knowledge). I got his cell phone while he was showering...retrieved the text message that had the password (because when you sign up on line they usually text you a password) and was able to view his activity...without his knowledge. This was invaluable to me when it came to rebuilding trust in him. After a time we switched carriers and we are now with Sprint...he knows I have access online now.
Honestly, this is something you need to discuss with your H. At this point, if he's truly trying to rebuild your trust....he needs to understand that erasing things like phone logs, or internet history....is a BIG no, no when it comes to rebuilding your trust.
That's not to say he's doing anything...but it's not condusive to building trust...it is in fact considered a red flag. It's a tool you can use also to help you avoid these triggers you've been experiencing all day long.
