Well today my W, MIL, Pastor and I meet so that we can actually talk and talk about the actions that I had taken.
I might have already mentioned this but I'll tell it again...
This past Friday night I found the evidence that I needed to prove that the EA was still going on. So at that time I decided that I would not support the A any longer. I packed a bag for my W and put it on the front step with a note. I called one of our pastors who has been supporting me for a while now and asked him to stop by to pray with me - I did not want to be making any rash decisions. Well the Lords timing was different then my own it worked out that he was here when my W walked in the door from work. So we confronted her and at that time I told her that until the A is proven to me to be over she needs to leave the house. We talked for over an hour and my W left to tell the truth to her parents. Well on the way over to her parents house she called the OM and told him it was over and that she couldn't afford to lose her kids over him....
Well I did not see my W this weekend accept a few minutes on Saturday. She called me from her work Sunday night and informed me that she was coming home that night and asked me if it was ok - which I said that it wasn't ok. She called my MIL after are conversation and my MIL then called me. I got a tongue lashing, which was fine, but it was at this point that we setup the meeting this morning at our house. Well the meeting came and went, my W stills feels nothing towards me and I do not sense that changing anytime soon. She clearly understands the actions that I need to see to prove that the A is over(letter to OM and Quiting her job). We all agreed to a seperation of sorts. My W will have the kids all day and then I have them at night while she is living with the ILs. She is still stating that she has ended the affair and realizes that healing for herself will not occur with this tie to the OM. She couldn't say this to me but it was brought up in the conversation that she stated this to my MIL. She is writing the OM a letter indicating that it is over, I will be able to see it and I will have someone I trust hand deliver it to the OM. The cruddy thing is that my W is not willing to quit her job at this time and the OM shift changes this month to coincide with my W. I am now hoping with the A brought into the light some baby steps can take place in our M.
My W has IC in a couple of hours and will be telling her C for the frist time that the affair was still going on. Hopefully the help/advice the C gives my W now is not for the end of our M but that of healing and restoration.
I might have goofed up this weekend, I called and left a message for my W C informing her that the A was still going on. I am worried about this move, I feel I might have caused alot more damage with this then I did good. My W is supposed to talk to her C about MC so that we can work on our communication for the kids. I should know tonight if this occured or not.
My W also said that she has been thinking of leaving for the last year and that the A just exacerbated those feelings. I guess I have been on trial for the last year and did not even know it. Now she wants nothing to do with me and if it wasn't for the kids she would have been off with the OM by now.
I guess the OM served his W with D papers recently, this came out of the meeting this morning. I hate seeing the destruction of M especially when there is children involved. Hopefully with recent events he will think twice about ending his M and try to reconcile with his W. One can only hope.
