the thing that confuses me about your sich vs. my sich is that I am happier no longer being married.
Probably because you made that final decision, not your H. It was reversed in my case. I just happened to make the best of the situation dealt to me.
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I know I've been venting a lot of anxiety on the BB lately but it's just anxiety not unhappiness. So what I'm thinking is that the reason that you were unhappy when you and your H were split even though you were getting hot sex with Alpha guy and the reason why you had the EA with Chrome are the same reason or symptoms of the same problem, if that makes sense. I think that it's possible that you subconsciously "punished" yourself for being HD and abandoned by your H for expressing your HD by choosing a sexual partner with whom you had no urge to pair bond while you were split from your H.
Interesting theory. Not sure how accurate it is but I always enjoy reading your perspective.
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I think that maybe you believe that there really aren't men who like sex and visiting wineries or reading books etc. Actually, I really don't think that you believe that but you use that line of thinking as a sort of refuge.
Well, more like the problem is I KNOW there are men out there like that but I try to minimize the possibility of ever running across one again. The only other man I truly loved other than my H was my college boyfriend. He was extremely sexual and HD and he was also an American Literature major who played in a band that toured the US. We had a very passionate and rocky R. I think I was conditioned by that R to desire certain aspects of a SL and also was encouraged to express my HD self. That is not the case in my M and that is the part that annoys me. Some men "bring out" the HD woman in me very easily and I find that the most attractive. But I knew from the start that was not H and I chose him anyways. Hmmm...
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My point here isn't that you should leave and find one of these guys but that maybe somehow subconsciously you are imposing the opposite POV on your H. He can't be a wolf because although you want a wolf, you want a puppy dog a bit more and you believe that a man can't be a wolf AND a puppy dog. Of course, I might be full of cr*p.
Well, this is where the theory falls apart. I don't think I wanted the puppy dog more than the wolf (even though like I said I did choose my H to marry fully aware of the dynamic), I think I believed that the wolf would always come back to bite me (and not in a good way, lol). The wolf hurts, the puppy dog soothes. Well, that whole theory went to sh!t when the puppy dog ended up leaving anyways. Back to square one.
