IT'S HAPPENING ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!

[BeingMe]

A lot of Dr. Phil's advice I find very appropriate especially where M is concerned. Anyway, here is what he says about children when their parents are going through a D, and what their needs are:

"Children should not be given the job of healing your pain. Too often, children serve either as armor or as saviors for their parents in crisis. They don't need to be dealing with adult issues, and should not know too much about what's going on between you and your ex-spouse.

There are two primary rules to follow, especially during times of crisis and instability in your family.

1. Do not burden your children with situations they cannot control. Children should not bear such a responsibility. It will promote feelings of helplessness and insecurity, causing them to question their own strengths and abilities.

2. Do not ask your children to deal with adult issues. Children are not equipped to understand adult problems. Their focus should be on navigating the various child development stages they go through."

Here is the link to the page I got this from ... lots of other info there too. http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/157

Kids are resilient to a point, but I always wonder why they should have to be. D does have a long-lasting effect on them, and they are more likely to D themselves one day. It always boggles my mind when WAS's come up with this kind of defense where the children are concerned. IOW, they will do whatever they want, despite the cost to others, esp. the children. So frustrating!