No, he isn't going to be there on business and he won't be busy all day, that's just the problem. He has to go there for a doctor's appointment. Unfortunately, the airline schedule has him getting there at 10 in the morning. The appt isn't until 11:30 and then his flight back isn't until 5:30 so he will have quite a few hours to "kill" and she is literally minutes from where he will be seeing the doctor.
Yes I know, I have to "ride it out" - sheesh this is hard. But I do feel good knowing he is trying and we had a very good talk yesterday and he seems VERY open to talking to the C about the complex and dealing with it. He says its the closest we've ever come to actually having an "answer" - so that's a good sign. He also said he feels strong and knows he can get through this (today, being there) so I have to go with that right?
I will probably email you directly - thanks for the addy, I really do appreciate you helping me out here. It's so comforting knowing someone else has been through this and has come out on the other side
Thanks GEL - you are a life saver (a butterscotch one - my fav!!! - LOL)
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Ok...well that definitely does add to your trigger today.
Since this IS for a Dr. appt., is there a reason you cannot accompany him? If not, then ask him flat-out how he plans on spending his time, aside from the Dr. office...and be honest with him. This is making you trigger, tell him that up-front (I think you already did that), but let him know some things that will help you through this day too...and bring you some comfort. Like phoning YOU and talking to you....IM'ing you whatever.
If he really does seem sincere in his effort then as tough as it's going to be for you (and I know how tough this is after infidelity) you are going to have to try to trust him today. So...what activities can you do to occupy your mind. Something that won't let you mind wander, something you have to concentrate on? BTW...are you a SAHM, or do you work outside the home?
Unfortunately I can't go with him because (1) he is flying there and this is an injury claim situation where the company is paying for his flight (2) I have to work today (and I can't take time off on such short notice because I am an instructor at the University)
However, he has just left and I didn't have to say anything about being worried because he said "don't worry, I'll be ok" I asked him if he felt "strong" and he said yes, he was fine. He then told me he would call me on my way to work and also on my break.
After that he will be in the doctor's office for about an hour and then he might grab something to eat (yes, I know the man has to eat but right there I thought "will he be eating alone?") and then he said he would head straight to the airport and call me from there. So, he did say he would call several times, which is good however no guarantee that he is actually where he says he is, is there? I know that sounds paranoid but I can't seem to help it today - grrrrrrrrr
Thanks GEL - this is helping me tremendously just knowing there is someone out there that understands what I am going through
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
At least he's offering to make these calls throughout the day, that right up front is showing you that he has empathy for the situation you are in. His bringing this up before you did also shows empathy for the pain and triggers he's caused you to have...these are good signs. Phoning you throughout the day will help his strength too.
These are really good signs. No, you really have no way of knowing where he is...and I'm oh-so-familiar with that thought LOL, BUT when he calls...there is background noise. Airports are something that cannot be mistaken...you will make it through this day.
Thanks GEL - I feel pretty good right now. I am trying not to think past the moment as I do have to concentrate on my job. However, Those last few hours before I know he is on the plane and on his way home will be excruciating (but we won't go there right now will we - lol)
Thanks again, you are truly helpful in this situation
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
H just called on his taxi ride into town. Said it was a sunny day there but everything is brown and not green like it is at "home". He said he appreciates all the more where we live and how pleased he is that we don't live there (where he is now) anymore
I asked if he had a good flight and he talked about the BS you have to go through regarding security - he said it was insane, taking off your shoes etc. All the more reason not to fly - lol
Then before I could say anything, he said "and don't worry about me, I'm fine and things are going to be okay" - I just about started crying on the phone but just said "thank you"
He said he would call me after he got out of his meeting with the lawyer (about an hour) and then again when he got out of the doctor's office (another hour after that). So I can't complain about the effort he is making to try and make me feel reassured.
It's the time between the doctor's appointment and his flight home that worries me the most though because the doctor's office is minutes from OW house and Mondays were always the day he went to see her, and usually around this very time of day
He will have about 5 hours to "kill" before he has to get back to the airport so, I am a little stressed but seem to be holding on pretty good so far
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
He IS making the efforts necessary...don't be surprised if you hear from him during that five hours, wouldn't surprise me for him to give you a shout. He honestly does appear to be trying to help you through this.
FWIW...I know ALLLLLLL about the fun stuff at the airport LOL. Did I ever mention both my husband and I work in the airline industry? LOL He works for American, I work for a Repair Station.
Thanks GEL - I really appreciate the confidence and your support
Yes, the airlines are CRAZY nowadays (paranoid is more like it - lol). The part that gets me is, they check the individuals but they don't do a damn thing about the cargo - hello!!
If I was going to blow up a plane, I sure wouldn't be (a) carrying the bomb on my person OR (2) even going on the plane. Put it through cargo and hightail outta there. Isn't that how its done for the most part? Other than the ones that seem to like blowing themselves up - but let's not go there.
As for calling me during the 5 hours, he just might. I don't think I should call him though, do you? I have a C appointment at 4 pm so that should ease some of the stress. Once I know he is on that plane and coming home, things will ease off.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
He IS making the efforts necessary...don't be surprised if you hear from him during that five hours, wouldn't surprise me for him to give you a shout. He honestly does appear to be trying to help you through this.
FWIW...I know ALLLLLLL about the fun stuff at the airport LOL. Did I ever mention both my husband and I work in the airline industry? LOL He works for American, I work for a Repair Station.
So, the phone call he said he would give me inbetween appointments didn't come - but I am trying not to stress too much and write it off as he didn't have time and was running late (however a 30 sec phone call would have sufficed). But, I know he went from lawyer to doctor's office (across the street) so unless lawyer didn't show up, he is at the doctor's office right now AND he wouldn't have had the time to go from lawyers office, to OW and back to doctor's without a vehicle. Even if he took a taxi - it would be too tight on time (that's my story and I am sticking to it - lol)
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
- but I am trying not to stress too much and write it off as he didn't have time and was running late (however a 30 sec phone call would have sufficed). But, I know he went from lawyer to doctor's office (across the street) so unless lawyer didn't show up, he is at the doctor's office right now AND he wouldn't have had the time to go from lawyers office, to OW and back to doctor's without a vehicle. Even if he took a taxi - it would be too tight on time (that's my story and I am sticking to it - lol)