And so what your trying to say is that kissing, playing with boobs, then going for the O is not the right plan.
COG,
That is far from the right plan. You have to pay attention to every part of her body. Be a tease. Find out where all of her pleasure spots are. Don't try for the O until she is way turned on. If all you focus on is the O, you take the fun out of it. Focus on having fun getting there. If she has fun getting there she will look forward to it next time.
Since I have been figuring some things out that I was doing wrong in our M, H is trying to be more romantic and is more open to me giving him ideas. I used to be way too bossy and critical about it. My thread
I don't know what my problem is, but I can't bring myself to verbalize what I would like H to do while we are ML. I talked to him about it last time (Saturday) and asked him if it would be okay if I wrote them on a piece of paper. He was okay with that. He hasn't looked it over, yet. I hope it works. I could send you the same list by PM if you like. If ML was more fun for your W, maybe she wouldn't be so reluctant. That is what I am hoping for my H.
When you touch your W outside of ML, do you flirt with her and then leave her alone so that she doesn't feel like she has to ML. Many women don't like feeling like they are going to ML every time they are touched or spoken to in an intimate way. Make her feel beautiful and loved without expecting sex. The same goes for any romantic outings or gestures. Do some things with her or for her that she likes without expecting sex. Google "romantic ideas."
