Is there any family that can watch the kids sometimes? Do try and find a babysitter. Teenagers LOVE to make extra money and younger kids generally adore them so try to find a responsible teen to babysit once in awhile. Or perhaps trade off with another couple that has similarly aged kids. One Saturday night you and your wife go out, the next Saturday night they go out....
At the very least try to do this once a month. Believe me, I've been there with the young kids and it's extremely important you and your wife get some type of break once in awhile. This is one thing my husband and I didn't do when the kids were younger and it was a HUGE mistake.
Heck, even if you just have a jacuzzi in the yard (or get one!!!), plan a candle light dessert after the kids have gone to sleep, wine or martinis, and hang out in the jacuzzi together.
Go to the gym together, put the kids in childcare there. Go on the machines and talk together, work out, play a few rounds of raquetball. Some gyms have a snack bar... get a coffee or snack and hang out talking for 30 minutes and enjoying some time without the kids...
Get a pizza to go and go to a local park. Spread out a blanket and you and the wife hang out together talking while the kids are off playing in the sand.... at least there will be moments while it will just be you two talking together bonding.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
