The way I see it is everything happens for a reason. There was a reason this drastic step has taken place. You don't see it yet, but it is part of a bigger plan. Sit tight and let the story unfold. Let go and let God.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
Thanks to everyone for your helpful advice. Others can usually see our situations a lot clearer than we can see it ourselves.
That said, I didn't hear from H last night. However, his sister said he went out of town on Wednesday (either on a new job or looking for one) and possibly has not returned yet.
It is possible H doesn't know about the court document yet.
BTW, in that document, my L asked the court to incarcerate my H b/c of contempt (which is in addition to being forced to sell the house and property). Does anyone know if H could be arrested and jailed over this? I pray not. I have cried a river of tears worrying about it. IF ONLY my L had picked up the phone and informed me before filing that document, maybe I could have stopped it somehow.
OTOH, it is very possible that peaceful_spirit is right in that everything happens for a reason. You would think that all the arrests, DUIs, fines, probation, loss of job, family and respect over the past year would have alerted his muddled MLC brain that "something" is wrong in his life. Perhaps H needs this final wake-up call to finally open his eyes.
You are doing great. You are being so reflective and spiritual, that I am sure you are going to be OK with this.
Holly
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
I didn't hear from H over the weekend. I expected a spew (via phone), but it didn't happen. Everything is so quiet. I don't know whether this is good or bad.
I kept myself very busy yesterday working in the yard b/c my mind began playing tricks on me again. If I allow myself to get pulled down into H's world, I start to question my own sanity.
For instance, I call my Mom every morning at 7 AM. At 7:30 yesterday I looked at the clock and couldn't remember if I called her but assumed that I had. She called me at 8 b/c I hadn't called. Right then, I knew it was time to back off .. way off, and get my mind on something other than H and the legal mess that's going on.
Anyway, my yard looks great. I spent 5 hours mowing, weeding, seeding, trimming, the works. It's also good therapy for me. I called Mom this morning right on the dot (lol!) so I'm doing lots better today.
Hope everyone had a good weekend .. or at least a decent one. When you have a spouse in MLC, sometimes it's hard to relax and enjoy the little things in life, but it's so very important for our own mental health.
Well, Happy Day! My lawyer called and apologized!!
L said he realizes he should have talked to me before filing the contempt of court motion. He said that the motion was misleading that H would be arrested and incarcerated, or that his property would have to be sold. All of this COULD happen if H continues to throw his finger to the court, but at least H has a chance to make it right.
L also said that (if necessary) he would explain to H that I had nothing to do with filing the contempt papers.
I appreciate my L calling and explaining all of this clearly to me.
Valeria, I hope that your lawyer isn't charging you a fee for filing the contempt of court papers or his discussion of this morning. I'm glad you called your lawyer on this behavior. Many times, lawyers take it upont themselves to help the situation along and then it creates havoc for all parties concerned.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for your post. H is supposed to be responsible for my legal fees .. that's another reason I thought he would want to settle this as amicably (and inexpensively) as possible.
My lawyer's office called this afternoon about filing supoenaes for witnesses at the divorce. After months and months of aimless rambling, it looks like this sitch has taken a definite turn now. It's not the road I wanted, but when every boundary is crossed, and every opportunity for reconciliation is shut down, there's not much hope left.
As hard as it is to accept the reality of divorce, at least I'm out of limbo. This crazy roller coaster ride, and the uncertainty of my life after so long a time, was taking a real toll on my mental, physical and emotional health.
H said in a phone call in February that we should go ahead with this divorce and start over again in the future. I don't know about that right now. I do wonder, however, how H will feel when he realizes that this D is on a fast-track now and there are no escape routes left.
Your h seems to continue to sway back and forth. I honestly do think he will work through this. I hate to see the D happen. It breaks my heart. I wished we were closer and could have a drink together and cut up!!!
don't ya know that a D is only a pay day? A piece of paper? It does not define a relationship.
Hugs,
and high fives,. HHHHHHHOOlly
Wait, I like Hooly better!
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
