I’m not trying to show pity on myself in fact I hesitate to even post here with good news, but I want to show that so far DB’ing does work. I know there are a lot, A LOT, of people here that would love that kind of response. I guess things have been bad for a long time, when something good like this happens I’m just waiting for something bad. I really wish everyone as much luck and faith as I have had in the past week. Here is the latest…
I picked her up again last night, I guess it wasn’t a jazz club, but a poetry slam (I had no idea what that even meant). We went and had a couple drinks and eat. She has always been a very good poet, and I kept telling her that she should do it. I told her that she should not be scared at all, her stuff is way better than anyone else’s and she has nothing to worry about. After some more encouragement, she decided to do it. I told her that I would cheer for her no matter what. So she got up there and read, everyone thought it was really good, in fact she got second place. I told her she sounded amazing and we should do this every Sunday. She agreed and thanked me for being her cheering section, in fact she said she wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t there. I told her that I loved her very much, no matter what. After a little bit longer she started to initiate contact, put her head on my shoulder, kissed me on the cheek and put her arm through mine. She even brought up C and how she thought it would be a good idea to start with some structure! I think she was waiting for me to say that I had better go, because she asked if I was tired. I told her that I was having one of the best weekends, and I am in no hurry to end it. So after awhile we left, she was still ecstatic. She grabbed my hand as we walked, and held on tight. I opened the car door for her, which I never do, and she gave me a big hug and told me that she wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else and it meant a lot to her that I would go to something like this. On the way back to her place, she called her mom to tell her about 2nd place. Her mom must have asked who she went with, cause she then grabbed my hand and blushfully told her mom. I could tell her mom was excited too. She told me that her mom was asking 101 questions so she has to call her tomorrow with the scoop. When she got off the phone she told me that she loved me so much, and she wanted to work through this. She couldn’t imagine life without me. I can’t remember the last time she said something like that, so I told her it meant a lot to me should would share those feelings with me. When I walked her to her door, I grabbed her and told her that there was no place I would rather be, and she looked so pretty under the bright moon. She gave me the longest and most passionate kiss ever, and even called to make sure that I got home ok.
Needless to say, I’m so happy right now, but still walking on eggshells because I feel like it might not last. I sent her flowers today, with a card saying that I had a wonderful weekend with her and that I love her. I’m still taking things slow and letting her dictate the next move, but also making sure that she knows how important she is too me. Wish me continued luck with this new progress! I will keep you updated, I really just hope it lasts.
