Sashaying thru Seperation II

[Heartbroken]

Hello,

Sorry I have not been here for you - busy weekend!

Sounds like she may be trying to balance both you and OM (or FOM as you call him).

My H did that big time and he too missed the bedtime call and I really let him have it for that one. H and OW were at the movies - I said fine but it is HIS responsibility to call HIS kids - even do it B4 going into the show DUH! He felt really bad and did not let it happen again. I am not sure your wife will feel this same pull with your boys...

You need to work on your detachment AGAIN! Maybe if she sets something up you can pick or choose what YOU want to do with her - back off on being the initiator - but I would not back off completely!!

You are reading too much into your dates and then your expectations set you off (as well as the snooping). You have come so far to blow it now. You know she's calling and seeing the OM - and I know HOW HARD this is to accept - but this is what she has choosen for the moment. It may not be the final choice for her and this is where you come in - your job is to SHOW her with your actions what she is giving up and throwing aside.

D right now would SEEM easier but in the long run there would be just as much if not more pain... She will always be a part of your life b/c of the boys.

Go find some old postings from GH (Grasshopper) - he wrote and awesome piece on not giving up!!! Read his sitch (VERY LONG) to see how far he came and got through it - it sure helped me!!

Keep at it! BABY STEPS!