The weekend has been nice...H and I took the kids to buy a clubhouse/swingset for our backyard on Thursday and he spent Thursday evening, all day Friday and Saturday assembling the thing. It's huge and the kids love it. I took some time out and helped him, and it was fun to work together.
Things are going pretty good. Here's a list of positives: -H seems happy, relaxed and comfortable with us -H didn't get to work on any of his planned projects for this weekend, but seems okay with that -H has backed off just a little in the affection dept, but still initiates big and little interactions -H is sure to let me know when he'll be home, and makes an effort to go to bed with me most nights -H went to church with us today, and cheerfully watched the kids while I went to choir practice and a performance later this evening, then had supper ready when I returned
I am so happy and grateful for these things, to have this opportunity now. My happiness is tentative, though. I think I'm feeling what Cat03 mentioned once...about waiting for the other shoe to drop...the awareness that things could easily go back to the nightmare, and the associated anxiety. I sense little remorse/humility from H, and knowing that he is an accomplished and habitual liar makes me uncomfortable to say the least. It's hard to know how to juggle our personality differences and keep them in perspective with everything. I'm still reading and seeking answers in my own life.
I don't see any way around this though--it's something we have to deal with. I'll just keep plowing through, keep learning and watching and praying. One step at a time.
