Ok. My First Thread in Many Moons

[MJontheMend]

I'm not sure how this will be helpful to you, LFL, but the thing that confuses me about your sich vs. my sich is that I am happier no longer being married. I know I've been venting a lot of anxiety on the BB lately but it's just anxiety not unhappiness. So what I'm thinking is that the reason that you were unhappy when you and your H were split even though you were getting hot sex with Alpha guy and the reason why you had the EA with Chrome are the same reason or symptoms of the same problem, if that makes sense. I think that it's possible that you subconsciously "punished" yourself for being HD and abandoned by your H for expressing your HD by choosing a sexual partner with whom you had no urge to pair bond while you were split from your H. I think that maybe you believe that there really aren't men who like sex and visiting wineries or reading books etc. Actually, I really don't think that you believe that but you use that line of thinking as a sort of refuge. My point here isn't that you should leave and find one of these guys but that maybe somehow subconsciously you are imposing the opposite POV on your H. He can't be a wolf because although you want a wolf, you want a puppy dog a bit more and you believe that a man can't be a wolf AND a puppy dog. Of course, I might be full of cr*p.