Thanks for the great advice, I guess I'm just confused on why I am so unhappy now. She called me this morning to ask about an extra tv I had, and wondered if I could bring it by. So today, I went to her house and dropped off the TV and also gave her a jewelry box I had bought for her before we broke up (which she knew because it had a date on the gift receipt). I played it off, just told her that I didn't want to loose this in the move, and I knew you always needed one. From there she asked if I wanted to get lunch, that was a surprise to me.
So we went and had lunch, and she kind of talked about 'us'. I wasn't sure what I should do so I treaded lightly. It was so hard not to cry, both of our eyes welled up a bit, but both kept it under control. We both discussed what we thought went wrong. She really didn't have an answer just that she felt like a real burden to me. She said that since she started working again, she has realized that was a major issue. Said she was sorry. Her main point was she didn't know where the relationship was going. That was a huge shock to me, considering I wanted nothing more than to be with her, I guess I just never really showed her. I told her some things that I thought she knew, but I guess didn't. I told her that I always knew that we would move back to her hometown. She seemed really surprised. I kept it simple, told her that I knew that she would be the happiest there and as long as she was happy I would be too. (The entire conversation was past-tense) I then told her how beautiful she was, told her she was the most beautiful women in the world, no one else compares. That’s when she had to hold back the tears the most. I might have made a mistake, I asked what she needed from me. This is what she said, 'She just needed more time, she wants it to be right this time' I'm not sure why, but this crushed me, I really had to fight off tears. I told her that she made me so happy and I really hope she knew that. She said she never really realized that, which I felt really bad about. We also talked about how we wished we would have gone to therapy before things spun out of control, she agreed. Then I ask if she would be willing to go now, she said yes. Should I do it?? I just don't want to push her, but I'm not sure how much 'time' I give. That was all the R talk we had today.
We then left and she asked if I wanted to go to this jazz club tonight, I said sure but it didn't start until 7. So I drove back to her place and she asked if I wanted to come in and watch a movie. This was only like the 3rd time to her new apartment. I went in and we started a movie, but I started to really get sad, seeing all the stuff that we used to share killed me. So I told her that I had better get going and I would pick her up later for the club. How can I get through this, ‘I need more time phase??’ Am I doing something wrong? What should I be doing differently?
