CL, I'm seeing some real positives here. I liked your response to you IC. I can see where they would suggest that, but it is a very personal decision that only you can make.
Maybe if your W gets a job that is more fulfilling she will be happier with her ownself, and realize that it's not you making her unhappy.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
She is considering going to school to get a massage therapy license. Her mother has offered to help with tuition. I'm not too proud to accept her help.
Hey CL - Good to see the positives, especially that she is initiating contact. Clearly what you are doing is working. I am having a bit of trouble understanding the above though - could you clarify where the 'proud' comes in?
Yoyo, Slowly, and Friends, I went to my writer's group on Thursday. I've been going to this group about two months. I'm trying my hand at short story writing, after being a nonfiction reader and writer my entire life. During our workshop, I was brave enough to read my writing sample. I got a few nodding heads, indicating that they were moved by my writing.
On Friday, I went to my dance venue. My W joined us also. She'll go if her performance partner goes, so they can practice. She made a point of making sure that I asked her to dance. We danced three times, and had a great time.
She then went on with her evening, and slept elsewhere. This was her only overnight out this past week.
She's been making a special effort to be nice to me. She thanks me for the errands that I run for her that make her life easier--putting gas in her car, making coffee in the morning, etc... She also pointed-out that we haven't been practicing dancing as much lately (we used to practice weekly).
She is out-of-town this weekend for her neice's skating performance. I chose not to go, deciding that I could not be positive for the entire trip, and that I'm not wanting to invest that much into the R at this time.
I attended a dance workshop today at my studio. I had a great time, and left with some great tips.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Slowly, Yoyo, Matilda, and Friends, My W and I went to dinner on Sunday, and had a nice evening. We practiced dancing on Sunday evening and this morning.
My W is interested in helping me become a better dancer. She provides me with helpful feedback during our practice time, and I make sure to thank her for it. Feedback from an experienced female dancer is "gold" to me.
Navigating the dance community is so much easier when you have a friend to help you. I probably would have quit long ago, if it weren't for her.
I shared with her that my parents and family are getting together in North Carolina this summer. I'm reluctant to go there with her and spend so much time together, and to have her be with my family. Vacations where my family stays together in a house for a week has not been an enjoyable experience for her. I would not go there by myself; I think it would harm the R. My parents will have to be disappointed.
She keeps talking about needing to get a new job, but takes no steps towards finding one. I try to be patient in knowing that talking about it is building motivation to make a change. I don't want to take on solving her problem for her (my past pattern). I think she'll be so much happier once she makes a change.
I've started reading a book called "The Friendship Factor," by Alan McGinnis. I need to work on cultivating social connection and friendship in my life. My W is my only friend at this time.
My dance class and writing group give me an opportunity to cultivate social connection. It's been years since I've had a friend. I also want to work on my friendship with my W.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Slowly